How I realized that I am racist, and why most white men are racist

Yes, I am racist. I think I was born racist because I am white. And here is how I realized it.

I imagined what race are the women I would want to date.

And the race which I prefer the most is white or asian.

Brown I find somewhat attractive but it's meh, below average.

Black I find entirely unattractive in 99.99% of cases.

So yeah, thats racist. Then I wondered: Are other white men this way too?

So I looked it up, and yeah, most white men prefer dating white or asian the most.

So now that I know that I am racist, I wonder how deep the racism goes.

Interestingly, black people don't suffer from this type of dating racism. It's just white men, brown and Jews who do, but with Jews it's different cuz their religion bans them from marrying non-Jews.

But with me, there is no religion because I am an atheistic theist. I believe in God, but I also think that my belief is wrong and that atheists are right when they say that there is no God.

But this is an entirely new problem for me, because I didn't know that I was racist before until I read the studies.

So since I have racism in dating and racist attraction preference, what other racist preferences do I have?

Would I rather live in a country of entirely white people, under white sky, looking at white land covered with white flags, with white birds singing on white trees, and white flowers grow everywhere?

I am not sure. I haven't thought about it like that before. Is white my favorite color? Should I wear only white shirts? Do I paint roof on my house white?

But then I thought about it, and maybe I am just partially racist. Maybe I don't prefer white in everything, just in dating.

I guess all white people are partially racist.

But how do I cure my racism I was born with? Black people have it easier because they can't be racist. But I am white, and thanks to avoiding sunlight, more white than most white.

I can sense the racism inside me. I didn't know it was there before, because I didn't pay attention and I thought that I can't be racist because I used to support Communism.

I also realized that I have a white privilege, and that's another problem because I have it way easier in life than other races.

But this privilege comes with a curse, you realize that you are partially racist.

I don't want to be racist at all, but I was born racist like all white men are. This is due to natural selection, white men were historically racists so the racist gene got passed on.

I wish I was black. Then I wouldn't be racist.

I think white people need to try and stop being racist. I don't know how, but it seems to me that right now world is ruled by white and Asians, and those are all racists.