Onion headline about Mike johnson

I am a Christian. I jack off and feed the poor.

https://www.feedingamerica.org/

Hilarious. Saint satanlucy

Where does it show you jacking off?

Orgasms give you a long life

The idea that orgasms can contribute to a longer life is supported by research showing that orgasms can lower the risk of mortality and offer a range of physical, emotional, and psychological benefits. Regular orgasms may increase life expectancy by up to eight years, with around 700 orgasms per year potentially adding three or more years to your life. The benefits include lower blood pressure, improved cholesterol, increased circulation, and reduced risk of heart attacks and strokes. Orgasms also stimulate sensory pleasure pathways that trigger healthy chemical reactions in the brain and body, offering benefits such as reduced stress, improved sleep, and enhanced mood. Additionally, orgasms can help alleviate pain through the release of oxytocin and endorphins, which can increase pain tolerance by more than 74%. Regular orgasms can also strengthen the pelvic floor, which is beneficial for bladder function and control. Overall, orgasms contribute to better health and may even be better for  you than annual cold and flu shots. 

See how long the famous actor Ernest Borgnine lived.

I think Christians who oppose masturbation are deluded. No offense to God. If God didnt want people to masturbate, God wouldnt give people physical pain when they refuse to do it.

Whether masturbation is "wrong" 

depends heavily on religious, cultural, or personal beliefs, with many faiths viewing it as sinful due to associations with lust, selfishness, or diverting from the marital purpose of sex, while secular/scientific views often see it as normal and healthy, though some traditions (like certain Hindu or Islamic interpretations) have strict views, and others (like some Christian denominations) focus on preventing lustful thoughts it may encourage, rather than the act itself. 

Religious Perspectives (Sinful/Disordered)

1. Catholicism: Considers it an intrinsically sinful act, an abuse of the sexual faculty, selfishly seeking pleasure apart from the unitive and procreative purposes of sex within marriage, though culpability can lessen with factors like habit or immaturity.
2. Christianity (General): Often linked to lust and dwelling on sexual thoughts, which the Bible condemns, rather than physical release itself.
3. Islam: Interpretations vary, but some consider it forbidden (haram) as it involves sexual excitement and potentially lustful imagery, similar to general guidance to avoid looking at forbidden things.
4. Judaism (Talmudic): Views it negatively, sometimes equating it to "wasting seed" or "adultery with the hand," incurring divine punishment. 

Religious/Spiritual Perspectives (Not Sinful/Situational)

1. Some Christian Views: Focus on the intent and fantasy (lust) rather than the act, allowing it if it's just physical release without lust, or as a tool for self-control.
2. Hinduism: Some traditions see it as a drain on life force (Ojas) and related to lust, while others focus on self-control as a path to spiritual goals, suggesting varying views. 

Secular & Scientific View

1. Generally Healthy: From a secular standpoint, masturbation is seen as a normal, healthy sexual activity with potential benefits like stress relief and self-exploration, with no inherent physical or moral harm. 

Common Themes in "Wrong" Views

1. Lust: The fantasies often accompanying it are a major concern.
2. Selfishness: Seen as self-indulgent and withholding from a potential partner.
3. Misuse of Sexuality: Diverting sex from its intended purposes (procreation/marital intimacy). 

In summary, the idea of masturbation being "wrong" is primarily rooted in religious doctrines that frame it as a moral failing, while many secular perspectives view it as a harmless, natural activity. 

Considers it an intrinsically sinful act, an abuse of the sexual faculty, selfishly seeking pleasure apart from the unitive and procreative purposes of sex within marriage,

Yeah, obviously, I have countless marriage offers every day, but I selfishly refuse them all, then I go to room alone to masturbate and cry.

Is it possible that you are afraid of real sex and prefer fantasy sex like masturbation then cry realizing it's just physical release without lust.

Libido is a result of the fall

Libido is a result of the fall

I am sure it is result of God giving me balls and connecting them to my brain.

Is it possible that you are afraid of real sex

Why would I be afraid of something which cannot even happen? You are a bad therapist for teasing me.

You choose instead to go to room alone to masturbate and cry. Why cry if it is good for you?