Meow Quran is published!

Some friends told me I will get death threats from muslims if I post this. But I say if Meow is the true God, I have the upper hand!

It might have been prudent to choose another name.

Bible perhaps.

Bible perhaps.

It uses Quran verses to prove Meowbah is real. Anyway, it got enough likes, so I feel loved and approved of.

You just gave up your 72 virgins in paradise.

Where do all the virgins come from?

The concept of "virgins in paradise" primarily stems from Islamic religious texts and commentaries

. These virgins, referred to as houris (or hoor ayn), are generally understood to be a separate creation of God (Allah) who reside in Heaven (Jannah) and are given as companions to righteous believers. 

Key points about their origin:

1. Divine creation: The prevailing scholarly view is that the houris are unique celestial beings created by God specifically for the afterlife, rather than being women from the earthly world.

So the bloke gets 72 divine virgins.

What does his missus get?

A new kitchen perhaps.

She gets more free helpers.

So the heavenly horde also includes domestic servants.

Angels, virgins and servants...Perhaps they have to multi-task, because obviously virginity is a one time only thing.

In fact by now, heaven must be teeming with spent virgins.

Though I suppose that when a man has utilised his quota of 72, he has to then make do with either the missus or the servants.

I'm guessing that Angels are transsexual, and thereby take care of GOD's needs.

Because GOD dallied with a virgin in a stable once and look at the problems that caused him.

So the bloke gets 72 divine virgins.

What does his missus get?

A new kitchen perhaps.

Finally some gloves to prepare sandwiches more neatly

obviously virginity is a one time only thing

No, God can reset them.

Surgery can fix it too.

Not sure that gloves make sandwiches neater.

More hygienically perhaps.

Do you think that micro-organisms also go to heaven when they die?

So it's all a con then.

It's just the same old 72 who have been fu*ked a billion times.

The 2 billion Muslims will not agree with you. It’s to fundamental to their religion.

Yes, religion has a tendency to be predicated upon fanciful thought.

And fanciful ritual too.

Muslims follow structured and serious acts of worship and purity, collectively known as the 

Five Pillars of Islam. These practices are not considered "fanciful" by believers; rather, they are fundamental duties designed to connect individuals with God, promote community unity, and foster self-discipline and cleanliness. 

As I said, fanciful thought and fanciful ritual.

All separatist organisations however big or small, have a tendency to develop their own styles of ritualism and exclusivity.

But Christianity and Islam are universal religions.

Christianity and Islam are popular derivations of Middle Eastern based mythical creation and existence hypotheses.

Which are not particularly popular beyond the Earths atmosphere.

In fact in the region known as the Vertrillion Sector, adherents to Tharg based ideology are estimated to number approximately 248 trillion.

And unsurprisingly, the central character of Thargian religion is a Tharggod, named Crouton.

Though, as you would probably guess there are varying derivatives...For example, the Lulu's who inhabit the small moon of Soup, worship Mandy the Holy Mother of Crouton; and it's religious leaders have a propensity for indulging in sexual activities with choir boys and girls...Such is quantum entanglement I suppose.

And yes, it goes without saying that Crouton snook up behind Mandy one night in a stable, whilst her boyfriend Alberto was busy tending to the Rhinoceroses.

There, I've said it now.

None of that is found in the Quran…the holy book that Muslims follow.

Interpretation was arbitrary.

Still is.

You have to speak Arabic to read the Quran. This is to avoid interpretation errors.

For sure, if you want to read the Arabic version, you would need to be able to understand the Arabic language.

Though there are approximately 48 other language versions.

Yes, the 

Quran has been translated into over 100 languages, including most major world languages, with early translations appearing in Persian (7th century) and Latin (1143). While these translations help people understand the meanings, the original Arabic text remains the sacred, authoritative version, and various translations exist, reflecting different interpretations. 

Yes all very biblical.

Which is what one would expect from a copycat religion.

Does the Quran have similarities to the Bible?

Many of the stories in the Holy Quran have similarities to those in the Bible. A common conclusion is that since the Quran came after the Bible, Muslims copied these stories from Judaism and Christianity. It is claimed that this was done to attract followers from both religions by finding a middle ground

Yes, 1 divided by 1 equals 1.

Whereas.

1 times 1 equals 1.

You are still at basic math.