How to Date in Modern Society?

SatanLucy wrote:

Women sometimes complain men are useless, so doing useful things would negate that idea in their eyes hopefully.

In life and in relationships with women, you can only be useful or useless. there is no 3rd option. I would say being useful is much better. Women have wants, and of course they gonna prefer a partner who achieves their wants, whatever those wants are, whether its good at conversation, good in bed, or having some money in the pocket to buy gifts, or all of these.

In order to be most wanted, you pretty much have to achieve most wants of others, or greatest wants. this means you first have to know what their wants are, and not confuse them with your wants.

Relationships are mutual fulfillment of wants, and one of greatest mistakes people make in relationships is only focusing on their own wants. Its sort of like walking into a shop and wanting to buy something but not wanting to pay for it. trade means both sides get something they want, not just one side. Same in relationships.

Different women want different things, but the principle remains the same. You still must be provider of things women want, to be wanted.

I will have to learn which wants of a woman I can appeal to best, and of those, which wants to prioritize

SatanLucy wrote:

I think you can still do okay without them if you play the numbers game (cast a wide net)

Yeah, most people dont get that about relationships. there are actually women out there retarded enough to be with just about anyone. It doesnt matter how much you suck financially or in looks. there is always a woman out there who sucks way more than you. If nothing, you can always date a blind girl. She doesnt care for looks cuz she cant see. Just tell her you look like that terminator guy.

The current feminist views have enabled women to feel a sense of superiority and entitlement over men.

Feminism has allowed women to glimpse equal status. Potato/potatho 😉

What does equal status look like in practice? Does anyone know? Women don't act the same way as men, but they'd hold the same positions and be viewed the same way? Women in politics lead with emotion as is known by their psychology which is not the best form of decision-making.

Majority of women didn't even support feminism when it started. In inception, prominent figures declared that feminism will succeed when the nuclear family is obliterated because feminism is meant to move women into the work force and away from a focus on family which is stupid to do because women are happiest when in marriage and having children. Elites largely funded the feminist movement without thinking about the repercussions it would have on society.

Now we have more depressed single women who regret not getting married because they're fed this lie that they need to focus on business and "male pursuits" to be viewed as equal. Now the average person has to make more money because the amount of workers has gone up by pushing more women into the workforce. Now more women do business in sexually exploiting themselves for money pursuits which is enabled by feminism. That's not good for society.

Women in America have more freedoms than ever, yet they claim to be severely oppressed. Victim identity has enabled entitlement and has hidden under virtue signaling behind this banner of ambiguous "equality" that is supposedly the goal.

Feminism has done so much good for society, so I see why you're a possible supporter of it.

When I said biologically with children in mind, there is a theory-

This is an unwarranted belief ...unless youre a fly. It has never been confirmed or observed in humans or mammals of any kind.

There was a test done on horses and zebras. Male zebra has sex with female horse but does not impregnate the female. Later the female horse has sex with a male horse, and guess what, the offspring had stripes.

It'd be hard to conduct scientific experiments on humans in this matter because of the ethics of it. Command the female test subject to have sex with Man A and then Man B and then become pregnant with Man C, wait to see what the genetics of the child constitute. It'd be frowned upon to have a study like this.

What do you mean by "domineering"? Men are by nature the dominant counterpart

I think you might be confusing culture with nature. Anthropology reveals matrilineal and female-led societies, female warriors, and women with primary authority.

Domineering describes someone who is bossy, arrogant, overbearing. Someone who tries to control other people with no consideration of their feelings. Being this type of person/partner would make marriage seem like slavery.

Wars are largely fought by men. There are female warriors, but men make up the majority. Men are also physically more dominating, are more assertive, are more commanding, more adventurous. All things that add to being a dominant human more than a female would be. Just because there are examples of female domination does not mean that they tend to be the dominant group. The men are usually the ones in control and hold sway over decision making.

When I said destroy, I meant ruin and degrade the statutes and ideals of the community.

The feminist movement has brought about terrible outcomes, and we can talk about that if you're interested

What community is that? Is it made up entirely of men? If not, then perhaps the ideals and statutes are incomplete.

The US society for example. What feminism has accomplished is anti-American, and American ideals and statutes are imperative to uphold.

SkepticalOne wrote:

Are you saying that the ideals are human constructs and/or they are silly contrived customs?

Ideals and customs are human constructs. Some are silly.

I disagree because some are instituted by God

Savant wrote:

It's all about the sixes: make six figures, be six feet, have six inches, and a six-pack

I mean, in more traditional relationships, only height and money really matter off the bat, since they're not gonna see your abs or know the size of your privates until you've been together for a while. And while those things do matter, I think you can still do okay without them if you play the numbers game (cast a wide net) and optimize stuff you can control like outfit/photo quality. I think most women would prefer a well-framed photo of a guy in a suit than a mirror shirtless pic.

I'll have to pay my local second rate suit store a visit, owned by hard working immigrant Indian. Hopefully I can haggle for a lower price, but Indians love to squeeze every cent out of you.

And then I'll make a nice photo of me. Backgrounds are important to me, so I have to think about the location.

I disagree because some are instituted by God

I'm unconvinced gods humans worship aren't human constructs as well.

What does equal status look like in practice? Does anyone know? Women don't act the same way as men, but they'd hold the same positions and be viewed the same way? Women in politics lead with emotion as is known by their psychology which is not the best form of decision-making.

Equal status for women looks like fair pay for equal work, balanced sharing of home care, comparable numbers of women and men in leadership roles, the same choice of body, etc. etc.

Not for nothing, our current president (a man) leads with emotion. There is a very short list of people (man or woman) who would not be more emotionally stable than him. He is a weak individual.

Now we have more depressed single women who regret not getting married because they're fed this lie that they need to focus on business and "male pursuits" to be viewed as equal.

You poor thing.

Now the average person has to make more money because the amount of workers has gone up by pushing more women into the workforce.

That makes no sense. More workers should equal more product/services, profit, and pay.

There was a test done on horses and zebras. Male zebra has sex with female horse but does not impregnate the female. Later the female horse has sex with a male horse, and guess what, the offspring had stripes.

This is an old wives tales that has been disproven.

https://libraryblogs.is.ed.ac.uk/towardsdolly/2013/01/18/star-of-the-stripes/

Wars are largely fought by men. There are female warriors, but men make up the majority. Men are also physically more dominating, are more assertive, are more commanding, more adventurous. All things that add to being a dominant human more than a female would be. Just because there are examples of female domination does not mean that they tend to be the dominant group. The men are usually the ones in control and hold sway over decision making.

You are pointing to norms of one culture to dismiss norms of others. It doesnt work like that my friend. The roles you present as immutable are nothing of the sort.

What community is that? Is it made up entirely of men? If not, then perhaps the ideals and statutes are incomplete.

The US society for example. What feminism has accomplished is anti-American, and American ideals and statutes are imperative to uphold.

We will have to disagree. America is stronger with independent people who have control over their own lives. Ideals and statutes which allow for this are about as far from anti-American as one can get.

There was a test done on horses and zebras. Male zebra has sex with female horse but does not impregnate the female. Later the female horse has sex with a male horse, and guess what, the offspring had stripes.

This is an old wives tales that has been disproven.

https://libraryblogs.is.ed.ac.uk/towardsdolly/2013/01/18/star-of-the-stripes/

I will look more into this and get back with you later.

What does equal status look like in practice? Does anyone know? Women don't act the same way as men, but they'd hold the same positions and be viewed the same way? Women in politics lead with emotion as is known by their psychology which is not the best form of decision-making.

Equal status for women looks like fair pay for equal work, balanced sharing of home care, comparable numbers of women and men in leadership roles, the same choice of body, etc. etc.

We already have fair pay for equal work, so what is the elevated state of equality that the Feminists are fighting for that has not yet been reached? Balanced sharing of home care happens in successful marriages which do exist and is not something hypothetical, so again there is already equality there. Comparable numbers of men and women in leadership roles is not pragmatic to pursue. Men will always tend to be more effective leaders, and encouraging a type of people that tend to be less effective leaders to take even more leadership roles is nonsensible. The ones who perform better will take more prominence, and those will tend to be men so equality in leadership positions as you described isn't sustainable.

Not for nothing, our current president (a man) leads with emotion. There is a very short list of people (man or woman) who would not be more emotionally stable than him. He is a weak individual.

Even if that were true, an example of one man does not negate my stance that men as an average have the differentiators, capabilities, and enhanced qualities over women I described.

Now we have more depressed single women who regret not getting married because they're fed this lie that they need to focus on business and "male pursuits" to be viewed as equal.

You poor thing.

I don't know how you inferred that you were supposed to feel pity for me based on my statement. I am not a depressed single woman, in case you needed clarification. Shame on you for not asking me my pronouns first.

Wars are largely fought by men. There are female warriors, but men make up the majority. Men are also physically more dominating, are more assertive, are more commanding, more adventurous. All things that add to being a dominant human more than a female would be. Just because there are examples of female domination does not mean that they tend to be the dominant group. The men are usually the ones in control and hold sway over decision making.

You are pointing to norms of one culture to dismiss norms of others. It doesnt work like that my friend. The roles you present as immutable are nothing of the sort.

If we look at a list of all the wars that have been documented, how many have been fought by men and how many have been fought by women? If a war included both men and women present as fighters, was the majority of men or women? If there was a war fought with armies containing women majorly, how many of those occurred as compared to the other two examples of possible army types in a war? The answers would agree with my claims. Documents of all wars would include all different cultures, and from what we have, wars are largely fought by men. You would have to come up with an alternative source that says otherwise.

I really don't know what support you are appealing to that negates what I've said. It is basic biology and psychology to know that men are usually stronger and more assertive and aggressive, and women tend to be more submissive and weaker.

Your logic is basically that because a group or person exists or possibly exists, that counters what I'm saying; but exceptions are not the rule. You keep on imposing that reasoning, and it doesn't work.

America is stronger with independent people who have control over their own lives.

This is such a vague statement in context of either supporting your side or negating mine.

We already have fair pay for equal work

Untrue. Not globally. Not in the US.

Balanced sharing of home care happens in successful marriages which do exist and is not something hypothetical, so again there is already equality there

I really expected you to balk at this one. Kudos!

Comparable numbers of men and women in leadership roles is not pragmatic to pursue.

Untrue. Women have established themselves as competent leaders utilizing more effective aspects of leadership. It is time to move passed the antiquated sterotypes and accept we need men AND women leaders. [Link]

I don't know how you inferred that you were supposed to feel pity for me based on my statement.

I misread your words. Apologies. In fairness, though, this thread is about a particular man having difficulty finding dates.

If we look at a list of all the wars that have been documented, how many have been fought by men and how many have been fought by women?

This is a non sequitor and does not refute the reality of prominent roles women have played in human cultures.

It is basic biology and psychology to know that men are usually stronger and more assertive and aggressive, and women tend to be more submissive and weaker.

Another non sequitur. Being stronger, assertive, and more aggressive is not a prerequisite for leadership. It is not even necessarily true leaders in groups made up exclusively of men will be the strongest, the most assertive, or aggressive. Leadership has many facets (creativity, compassion, diplomacy, risk taking, resilience, etc) and the type of group determines the type of leader.

This is such a vague statement in context of either supporting your side or negating mine.

I argue feminism has made America stronger by allowing more people control over their own lives. If America is truly the 'Land of the Free' with 'liberty and justice for all', then feminism is about as American as you can get.

All the -isms of the world are myopic. Listening to them is just confusion. Asking God a time-based question is the wrong question since his time reference isn't. It's eternal. With reference to God, Christ gave the best example of prayer by the Lord's Prayer, but he did not intend those words be the prayer. Only words that come from your heart are heard in heaven, generally. What do you think, yourself? That's what God wants to hear. The Lord's Prayer's attitude is how to pray; positive, detailed, and suggestive. "Lord, here's what I think..." is what He wants to hear. Express your own thinking of the attributes you want to find in a wife by marriage.

You're not likely to find a suitable wife on an internet site, but probably not in a bar, either. And then, what kind of husband do you want to be, and be it. That will attract the kind of woman you want in a wife. I've been married for 53 years because marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. Each gives 100%. That's what we've tried to do, and that works.

Hoflation is real, especially among Gen Z women. You need to retvrn to tradition

Online dating is the modern way to find a suitable partner. The success rate is very high.