Secret to social interaction for those with autism

There is probably truth to this.

I just stopped caring and designed my life so being likeable wasn't that important.

I am able bodied, capable mentally and am building a career on ability alone, not likeability. All I need to focus on is not being totally repulsive.

Ive made friends along the way but theyre loose friends. I am gonna be the type of husvand and dad who basically only gives a shit about my family primarily, others matter less but I will show genuine care and may do some charity work.

I don't care if only 892 out of 900 ppl like me. The 8 matter, most of the 892 can literally and figuratively go to Hell if they wish to.

I just stopped caring and designed my life so being likeable wasn't that important.

Ability is usually more important. Money enables things, but the problem is that if you use only money as bait, all you end up with are people who only care for money. Kafka's metamorphosis described this perfectly. Money is important, but it shouldnt be used as bait, because it attracts terrible personalities. I prefer people who love me for my failures, not for my success, because success is temporary and gets boring quickly. If I become a millionaire, do I really want people who only care for my money? And what happens if I run out of money, or if there is not enough? Money based relationships are so bad because it is the most fake love there is. So ability is important, but it shouldnt be focused on mere money. Ability to care is much more valuable than money. You are correct that ability is crucial, but I just want to point out that ability to earn money on its own doesnt work. Other abilities must be present, especially ability in social interaction because I see people do miracles with power of word alone. trump became president through skilled word use, and its amazing. Words and expressions actually have power which is so great that failing there is almost certain failure in life. Even rich person fails if repulsive to people, and poor person who is skilled at expression succeeds. People who cant talk usually need other ways of expression. I know due to my speech disorder, which often forces me to whisper to avoid failure, actually am put at disadvantage and main reason why online relationships work for me much better than real life relationships, because its much more difficult to be interesting when you cant talk and seem emotionless.

I've always believed the problem of social interaction for those with autism lies more with the neurotypical side of the relationship. Social interaction with those who are different is a core deficit of most neurotypicals.

In general, my interpersonal relationships with those on the spectrum are more real and genuine than interpersonal relationships with neurotypicals tend to be.

Musk has autism too. Just ignore the haters.

Elon Musk spent over 200 million on Trump’s campaign to help him get elected a second time and succeeded. His autism is not a handicap, he is the richest man in the world and probably smart too.

I've always believed the problem of social interaction for those with autism lies more with the neurotypical side of the relationship.

Well, people have expectations. You either meet expectations or you dont. I do think many people place unrealistically high expectations. Like, some people block me because I failed to respond to their message which they sent at 5 in the morning time where I live. Some people have such high expectations that you need to be their 24/7 slave to meet the expectations. But goal is to at least meet some normal expectations. I usually have more friends than enemies, and this is purely due to trying to meet the average expectations. But understanding what people expect is not easy. I just go by some basic logic of wants, and success rate history. there is no other way for me, because I truly wasnt born with built in radar which detects people's expectations. So I just work like businesses work, listen to surveys and success rates, and some basic reasoning.

Musk has autism too. Just ignore the haters.

Yeah, Musk says to be useful, which is another way of saying "to meet expectations". You cant really please everyone. Its not possible, because different people have contradicting expectations. Same speech will both get you praised and get you doomed, depending on who it is spoken to.

I did try to develop some system of universal words/acts, which please everyone, but its really not possible because there are almost no words or behaviors supported by all. Even donating to charity isnt 100% approved by all.

the only system which can be universal is meeting some but not all expectations of each person.

It is debatable if his autism or love of money drove him to succeed.

Neither. Inheriting large swaths of blood money from his Dad's side (inherited emerald mine money from his Grandpa) is what led to his success.

Elon Musk denies he inherited his wealth. He is a self made billionaire unlike Trump. His family was in debt when they moved to Canada from South Africa.

He is a self made billionaire

there are only 5 ways to make money:

1. Someone giving it to you
2. Investments
3. Owning a business producing or re-sales
4. Working
5. Having a skill

Now, 2 and 3 require 1 usually because they require starting capital. the only one who can be self made is 4 and 5, but we all know Musk was neither a wage slave, nor has some extraordinary skill which people pay money for.

What skill does Musk have, which turns 0 into billions? Give me AI response because I am too lazy to right now type in AI app.

Musk owes a hefty chunk of his own personal fortune to the taxes average Americans pay. He just happens to be, notes a just-published Politico analysis, “the single biggest beneficiary of U.S. government contracts.”

Two of Musk’s commercial operations, Tesla and SpaceX, have received billions in American taxpayer support. The federal government, Politico points out, has essentially “outsourced its space program” to SpaceX, and Tesla, a shaky electric vehicle company when Musk bought it, only “took off after receiving $465 million in subsidies from the Obama administration in 2010.”

All the tax dollars that Musk has collected from the Defense Department, NASA, and the U.S. intelligence community — coupled with the “generous government subsidies and tax credits to the electric-vehicle industry” that have so boosted Musk’s Tesla — have Council on Foreign Relations senior fellow Max Boot fairly fuming.

Taxpayers like himself, Boot notes, are subsidizing the “fire hose of falsehoods” that now appear on X, the former Twitter, the social media app that Musk bought for $44 billion two years ago. Our tax dollars have essentially supersized our world’s single wealthiest individual.

Read Dale Carnegie

Reading books is usually a waste of time, no offense. I stopped reading books years ago. Now, I mainly read AI summary and quotes. I dont need 300 pages of information. I need a core list of information which I can effectively work with, usually something like this:

Here’s a clear, practical summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie—the core ideas that made it a classic 👇

Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Big idea: You can’t win people over by criticizing them.

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
2. Criticism makes people defensive and resentful—even when you’re right.
3. Give honest and sincere appreciation
4. People crave recognition. Be genuine, not flattery.
5. Arouse in the other person an eager want
6. Talk in terms of what they want, not what you want.

Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Big idea: Make others feel important.

1. Become genuinely interested in other people
2. Curiosity > charm.
3. Smile
4. It signals warmth and openness.
5. Remember that a person’s name is the sweetest sound to them
6. Use names—respectfully and correctly.
7. Be a good listener; encourage others to talk about themselves
8. Listening builds instant rapport.
9. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
10. Meet people where they are.
11. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely
12. This is the golden rule of human relations.

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Big idea: You persuade best without arguing.

1. Avoid arguments
2. You rarely “win” an argument socially.
3. Show respect for others’ opinions
4. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
5. If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
6. Disarms tension immediately.
7. Begin in a friendly way
8. Tone matters more than logic.
9. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
10. Build agreement step by step.
11. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
12. People trust ideas they help create.
13. Let the other person feel the idea is theirs
14. Ownership = buy-in.
15. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
16. Be sympathetic to others’ ideas and desires
17. Appeal to nobler motives
18. People like to see themselves as good and fair.
19. Dramatize your ideas
20. Facts tell, stories sell.
21. Throw down a challenge
22. People love rising to the occasion.

Part 4: Be a Leader—How to Change People Without Giving Offense

Big idea: Correct without crushing confidence.

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2. Call attention to mistakes indirectly
3. Talk about your own mistakes first
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
5. Let the other person save face
6. Praise the slightest improvement
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
8. Encourage—make the fault seem easy to correct
9. Make the other person happy to do what you suggest

One-Sentence Essence of the Book

Influence comes from empathy, respect, and making people feel valued—not from force or cleverness.

If you want, I can also:

1. Condense this into a 1-page cheat sheet
2. Give modern examples (workplace, dating, leadership)
3. Compare it to modern psychology or sales tactics

Just say the word.

I think there is a value in spark notes and summaries.

. . . But there is still a value in books and reading them full.

For myself anyhow.

I think knowledge sometimes comes from working out a puzzle, more than being told the puzzle's answer.

. . . A given maybe,

I 'have heard different people learn better by different methods.

Hands on for example, or visual.

Books work well for me,

I'm forced to stay on subject on theme, even a page or two later, I might mull on something I read a page or two past.

I flip back, ponder more, read on,

maybe chapters later come to conclusions, work out theories.

Sometimes a long and round about way to a point, inmeshes it.

A moment is sometimes remembered too by the day.

Small moment in a big moment remembered, maybe,

Small moment in a small moment forgot, maybe.

. . .

Knowledge is different, based on how it is experienced, I think.

Though this annoys me sometimes, I think it is true.

A person who is 'told of people who get punched in the face for being rude in face to face confrontations,

Perhaps is not as polite as a person who has 'been punched in the face for being rude in face to face confrontations.

. . . The knowledge is the same, and yet not.

A book is often narrative, story, draws people in, something that is 'experienced,

One 'feels the book.

The problem with books is that any puzzle which needs 300 pages to be solved is either useless in life or a scam.

In daily life, you can realistically only work with limited number of rules at a time. You are not going to memorize a 300 page book.

I admit, some books act like puzzles, which could improve reasoning ability, but it's nothing significant.

Having plenty of summaries is much better than having plenty of books. Because summary is the core value of a book which you memorize.

And while trying to solve problems sounds like good for mental ability, it is not good in case of books when you understand that problems are solved by information.

Logical problems are solved by information alone, and you are more likely to solve problems in life by quickly gathering necessary information, than by spending days reading one book which could even be wrong because there is no guarantee book is really any good.

So having summaries from 50 books is a lot better than reading 1 book, and reading 1 book takes even longer than getting 50 summaries of 50 books.

Because, I repeat, logical problems in life are solved by information, not by mere reasoning ability.

For reasoning ability, you have definitions and deduction, and that is about it.

But to solve problems in real life, you really need a brainstorm of information more than any single book.

Ever since AI first appeared, I have been using it consistently to get information about my business, and it has been most useful to me.

Because I can ask AI to explain something specific to me. I cannot ask a book anything.

When you need information very fast, you use AI or AI summary of a book, and you take notes.

Without taking notes, everything is useless. If you read a book, I can almost guarantee you will forget 95% of it after few months.

So what I really do in life is a simple scientific principle of understanding what is important to know, and then writing it down.

If you don't write something down, it is basically just eventually lost knowledge.

I don't practice my reasoning ability by trying to solve imaginary puzzle of a book.

I practice it by establishing a system to work with, and then putting the system in practice.

Because science isn't a goal. It's a system designed to achieve goals.

And goals are achieved, problems are solved, only by gathering lots of information, or logically deducing information.

Book is a very slow gathering of information, and books are also unchecked information, because book can easily be wrong about something. There is basically no guarantee of a book containing anything true.

Scientific studies, and history of things, are more useful than books generally.

It's easier to practice reasoning skills by learning from history and deducing knowledge, than it is by reading books.

Some books are of course scientific, but the core issue remains that book is always too long version of information.

Because 300 pages of anything is:

1. Too long to remember

2. And because of 1, too long to be made into effective system.

System works better when it can be made more simple. The more complicated the system, the more difficult it is to even practice it.

I can remember maybe 100 instructions about how to do a re-sale business.

I cannot remember 300 pages about it, and knowledge in such form anyway needs to be converted to much shorter form one can work with.

How did Elon Musk make his billions from scratch?

Musk co-founded Zip2 a software company. The company was bought by Compaq for 307 million in 1999. He then co-founded X.com which became PayPal. EBay acquired PayPal for 1.5 billion dollars in 2002. He then co-founded and invested in SpaceX, Tesla, and bought Twitter .

His wealth primarily comes from Tesla (2004) and SpaceX (2002) which has seen massive valuations over the years