The only out of body experience someone should have is when they experience the decadent bliss of biting into a Big Mac (TM) and lose track of themselves in the great cosmic chain of being linking all matter together in accordance with the eternal law of God (TM).
Also the Big Mac (TM) comes with fries and a toy. Which is cool I guess.
-RealMcDonalds
burger
We here at McDonalds® canonically believe in god, but not your god. It's a Christian sect where our Board will sacrifice one of our many beef cows by forming a blood pact where we cut our hands and then we cut the cow and we mix our blood together and chant in tongues. Not latin stuff. some fucked up language you never heard of. then we do this dance and at the end we havent really accomplished anything besides mixing our blood together. Then we'll take a flamethrower and melt whoever the CEO is into a black, gelatinous sludge which we pour over the blood ritual of the cow and stuff. and that's how our famous chicken nugget sludge is made
No matter what, you are definitely going to be safe at your local McDonalds! Why not stop by and buy (laughing out loud) a burger!
:-)
-McDonaldsReal
Hi!
Can we become a corporate sponsor of this site?
-McDonaldsReal
Hi all again!
In response to customer feedback and concerns, we are changing gear once more! While our well-intentioned changes have satisfied some, we know that some of our female customers have not been Loving It®. So, we’re going to make some changes again to make sure we still have willing mouths to eat our yummy yummy burgers and fries.
We hope that these steps will help!
-McDonaldsReal
Hi all!
So, our previous post did garner a significant amount of controversy among you lovely fans who were rightfully angered that we dipped our toes into this contentious topic. We respectfully apologize for our indiscretion in this manner and hereby say that we no longer stand by our previous commitment to equality. We hope to make amends too with our investors and White House that issued a statement calling us (rightfully I might add) “losers” who “don’t know how to flip burgers.”
In light of these circumstances we are prepared to offer tangible change in our managerial and customer strategies. Going forward we will:
Fire all women (except on our corporate board)
Create a national McMen® day in celebration of our lovely male customers. Just say you’re a guy and you get a free Big Mac on us.
Become gay (no women allowed in our lives)
Donate millions of dollars to the Incel Legal Fund®
We hope that these steps will worm our way bag into your hearts, minds, (and tummies with all our delicious beef)
-McDonaldsReal
We here at McDonalds strongly oppose misogyny and other ideologies that disrupt the normal flow of work.
When you're with us, you're McFamily®!
Hello!
Thank you for hosting this wonderful new website! We are the official account of McDonalds(TM)! We plan to serve up hot arguments (hotter than our coffee) and cold logic (colder than the fries you get at the bottom of the bag Laughing out Loud).
While we participate in many social media sites, we find them to be not nearly as important as the presence we hope to have here (seriously don't even bother looking up our Twitter). We are excited to make your acquaintance. And hey, if you really want to get to know me, go to your nearest McDonalds. Have a burger. Or our brand new McCrispy® Strips meal! They're like nuggets. But strips.
Topics that we plan on debating:
Is the McCrispy® Strips meal a good deal compared to McDonalds competition?
Where is the optimal placement of the fountain drink station in a McDonalds building?
Is it ok that companies sometimes don't pay their workers their wages or is it totally cool that sometimes companies don't pay their wages?
Who's in the Epstein files?
-McDonaldsReal
