Thett3

Post any and all here. Posters should disclaim that they are not rendering *actual* insult to any subject of the rap if that subject is a user here. Everything should be taken and meant in good fun. Feel free to write reviews as well. Please understand that raps often involve sexual, insulting, or braggadocious language, and that the use of these words will be considered artistic expression as long as it does not become harassing (i.e. overly focused on a particular user), doxxing, or consistently threatening. Any user may at any time request (publicly, in this thread, or in a PM to me) that they not be rapped about in this thread, and that request will be honored.

I'll go first. No COC violations, threats, insults, etc. are intended. Please let me know how I did; this is my first time rapping. It's entitled "Head Bowed."

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Before you suck me off get your head bowed

You know you want me to come and get your ass plowed

Cause I'm the baddest bitch in this whole place

And you ain't even worth it, you just blank space

You just a motherf*cker ain't got endowed

A wanna be whore that only kowtows

So bend over now on your kneepads

And I'll show you domination like a dungeon dad

A disgrace, a sh*tface, chained and gagged

Erase your name--you gonna die sad!

Before you suck me off get your head bowed

You know I'm on fleek, turn your ass around

I see it in your eyes, got invidia

At least I'm not like you, no chlamydia 

And when I take that whip I got good form

But when you in the bed you just deformed

And when I'm with my man, I'm good for 'im

But when you with your girl, you're just lukewarm

A scrawny little dunce, f*ckin moron

You wish you could be me with that more brawn

Before you suck me off get your head bowed

Cause I make all the men go oh wow

So guzzle all that milk, let the honey flow

Like my rap, perfect pace; I get the money, hoe

You crawl up to me beggin' for some handouts

But I ain't here to help bail your ass out

If you want my money, my treats, and no bans

Better show me you can work that f*ckin' poll stand

So crawl on over hear with your lap dance,

good dog, rub against a real man's lance

Before you suck me off get your head bowed

I hear you in that dungeon, got you beggin' loud

I got the brains, I got the ass, I got the ripped men

Know that I'm always turnt like a straight ten,

But you anorexic ugly like a gay one

Ain't no one wanna see your limp blowgun

Microscopic anyway--it's sorry hon'

You need that f*cking dildo just to get off

Cause no one wants to see you with your clothes off

So you take out your frustrations in these rage posts

But you ain't got nothing in those empty boasts

Before you suck me off get your head bowed

You know you want me to come and get your ass plowed

Cause mine ain't flaccid like yours at climax

I know how to give it on those freakin' barebacks

So come on sorry hoe and give that deep throat

I know you want it bad but I'm not gonna gloat

Your sorry enough with your sad-ass rhymes

It's not your fault that you're past your prime

Oh, wait--nevermind!

You know I'm the baddest bitch in this whole place

And you know you're just a waste of space

Yeah, before you suck me off get your head bowed

Drink it all up like you need it now!

And if you do good I might not lock you up

Got the dungeon all ready to f*ck you all up.

Bitch.

*drops mic*

I was asked to post this thread. I have a number of these in my upcoming NYT best seller memoir. I’ve copied one of the more mild ones below, and encourage others to share similar cringe hijinks:

It was the first day of the summer after 8th grade, and I had convinced my mother to take me to the library. The purpose of this visit was to acquire literature relating to my latest obsession: ants. I at first attempted to find an “adult book” on the subject but, failing to successfully navigate the Dewey Decimal System, I quickly went to the familiar children’s section. I cobbled together all of the books they had on ants, including some that were particularly childish. At the top of the pile was a bright green book with a drawing of an anthropomorphic ant on the cover. 

As I went to find my mother, I heard someone calling my name. Turning around, I saw two girls from school that I was friends with approaching. I quickly tried to reshuffle my pile of books, but all that did was draw even more attention to the stack. The ensuing conversation was painful.

“Whatcha’ got there?”

“Oh I uh…” 

“Oh um…ants…that’s cool…” 

“yeah uhh they are really interesting” 

I could see the emotions on their faces rapidly shift from friendly curiosity, to confusion, to bemused disbelief, and finally to contempt as they took in the situation.

“…well have a good summer.”

I never heard from either of them again

he was very active on DART. Did he change his username?

Our glorious leader and owner was born this day on 12/27/1955

…on a thread. I liked that feature from DDO and DART where I could see who made the most recent post and when. Sorry if this has already been discussed